Saturday, December 13, 2008

Christmas Or Holiday? You decide.



The Supreme Court has officially declared the word Christmas to be offensive and politically incorrect as we all now celebrate 'Holiday'. The event is popular for celebrating the birth of "Generic, nameless savior and/or prophet," as well as the glory of "Intelligent, all-powerful being." Holiday is one of the most popular celebrations in the United States today.

Christmas is also called X-mas by fans of the X-Men, who celebrate the day as "International X-Men Day". They believe that Jesus Christ was in fact a superhero. The Bible confirms this, listing such superpowers as healing, foretelling the future, heat vision, underwater breathing, flying, walking on water, super human strength and the ability to destroy evil with a wink of his eye and a thumbs up.

On a different note, while Santa is a generally feared man, in some parts of the world he is highly revered for prompting the sexual awakening of youngsters. California in the United States is among the most active of all Santa-supporting administrative areas. Many towns have changed their names in honour of the man sodomizing the prettiest girl in the village in exchange for many cheap and nasty cap-guns. Notably are the towns of Santa Monica, Santa Barbara and Santa Maria (a refinement on 'Santa did Monica', 'Santa Shagged Barbara"'and 'Santa got Maria Pregnant"). Many victims of Santa wind up as actors and actresses in Hollywood, California and struggle to sustain relationships as a result. It is also noteworthy the state of California also allowed pop super-star Michael Jackson to behave in a similar manner by approving the construction of Neverland Ranch.



Even with all of Santa's legal troubles, he is exempt from legal prosecution.

Monday, December 1, 2008

Don't Get TOS'd




For those of you that haven't heard:

" The MySpace suicide case concluded last week, with the jury finding Lori Drew guilty of three misdemeanor counts of gaining unauthorized access to the popular social-networking site.

While most of the press attention has been focused on the specifics of the case, the more important issue is the potential impact this could have on the Internet in general.

Web sites terms of service, which end users universally ignore, suddenly have teeth: violating them is a federal hacking offense, punishable with jail time. The days of being able to freely lie on the Web could be coming to an end. This could mean serious trouble for people who lie about their age, weight, or marital status in their online dating profiles."


So if you're on MySpace or Facebook, lying about your age, or your status states "Single" when you're not -- these can all be punishable by law now.

On another note, that kind of fucks up some of the other internet users. An example might be a high school kid on Google researching "homework", let's call it. According to Google's TOS, and the Department of Justice, that kid is a criminal.

And all those people who have lied about their age or weight on any social networking profile would now appear to be computer hackers. Oh, and if you gain 30 pounds after posting your profile and don't promptly update it--yep, jail for you.